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About Deviant EmilyFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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:) by explosivemoogle :) :iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 3 3 Little One. by explosivemoogle Little One. :iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 0 0 Hello, world. by explosivemoogle Hello, world. :iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 0 4 ... by explosivemoogle ... :iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 8 15
Needless to Say
I've buried it away,
but not too deep
It's something I need
But nothing I should keep.
Occasionally, I go after it,
my soul hungry for more
Craving the memories,
the person I adored.
He's so far away,
I'm not sure he exists,
but he remains in my mind
Frozen bliss
For the sake of my sanity,
I have to leave you behind
And so I have,
I'll feel better in time.
:iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 1 2
Do you remember the day she was found?
her lively spirit had been beaten and drowned
Warnings galore, but she laughed them away,
Running ahead, living for today.
Didn't care for valuables or how they gleam
She spent all her time chasing empty dreams.
Skipping around with her head in the clouds,
she never wanted to come back down
Everybody heard when she crashed and burned,
Her face had changed, her luck had turned
Hope for better days had been sewn in her skin,
forever wishing that someone would love her again
But oh, I remember the youth in her eyes
Sparkling, more beautiful than the blue in the sky
I'd give up my life to hold her hand once more,
to sit by her side like I used to before.
:iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 1 0
Days I recall, memories I can't forget,
Does this recollection of your past make you sweat?
Clammy hands, flushed cheeks,
the hours pass so slowly they feel like weeks.
Our friendship was held together by chains,
Chains made of wood that we allowed to decay.
They crumbled before us as we looked on with forced smiles,
this connection could never withstand the trials.
And then there's you, the one in blue,
The very first recipient of "I love you, too."
Your lips uttered 'truth', yet your eyes reflected lies,
covered by humor that was more than dry.
I held your hand and you held mine,
We were quite good at reciting our lines
Your eyes sparkled on as you muttered words,
Words I responded to, but never heard.
I apologize for the things I never said,
I'm sorry for any tears you shed
I'll make up for every phone call I ignored,
I'm haunted by the excuses you came to deplore.
:iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 0 0
Mary, Did You Know? by explosivemoogle Mary, Did You Know? :iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 1 1 Stained Glass. by explosivemoogle Stained Glass. :iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 1 0 Come, Anima! by explosivemoogle Come, Anima! :iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 7 0 Feel My Pain! by explosivemoogle Feel My Pain! :iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 6 0 Trapped. by explosivemoogle Trapped. :iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 1 3 'I Object!' by explosivemoogle 'I Object!' :iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 1 2 Up Close and Personal. by explosivemoogle Up Close and Personal. :iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 0 1 Curiosity. by explosivemoogle Curiosity. :iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 2 0
Inevitable Change.
They return once again, the hunger pains,
some could say this is all in vain.
The emptiness threatens to consume my being,
I wonder what it is that I'm not seeing.
The wonder and beauty that others seem to possess
I'm beginning to see it less and less.
Digging up the corpse, my deceased past,
they haunt me mercilessly, the good times that didn't last.
The days when smiles seemed to be effortless,
it pains me now to see them laid to rest.
I dug the grave myself, filled it with dirt,
doomed myself to a lifetime of hurt.
There was one person at the funeral, and that was me.
Standing there, staring, unable to unsee.
Blank expression, empty eyes,
This new version of myself I've come to despise.
Self destruction is the starring role in this film, it seems,
I watch on as tears roll down my cheeks.
This story is something that only I can comprehend,
I'm the director of a movie that will never end.
:iconexplosivemoogle:explosivemoogle 1 2


Envious by Ryandrogyny Envious :iconryandrogyny:Ryandrogyny 602 136 After A Sad Day, I Look Pretty Well. by Forever-Sagittarius After A Sad Day, I Look Pretty Well. :iconforever-sagittarius:Forever-Sagittarius 6 1 My Bookworm by pieconspiracy My Bookworm :iconpieconspiracy:pieconspiracy 1 0 Scarecrow by apwilliam2 Scarecrow :iconapwilliam2:apwilliam2 1 0 THRASH by dividedmind THRASH :icondividedmind:dividedmind 4 0 New Dev ID again by cran-berry New Dev ID again :iconcran-berry:cran-berry 1 0
Eyes closed, but sleep eludes me.
Happiness is an illusion of time.
The more time that passes, the more happiness finds you and leaves you.
A reoccurring event, but never quite the same as whatever came before it.
A dullness sets in, the kind that appears when something has lost its new-ness.
How many more disappointments until "hope" is a word never used?
Until smiles are faded and broken.
:iconnever-waits:never-waits 1 0
I am a 17 year old girl
My eyes sparkle in the daylight
I have a smile that can light up the whole room
I have an amazing family
My friends are the best that anyone could ever ask for
My boyfriend is amazing
Someday I am going to live in a big pretty house just like the one I grew up in
When I graduate I am going to go to a good college and learn to do my dream job
After college I am going to marry my prince charming
And we will live happily ever after
I will have beautiful children
And I will love them with all of my heart
And when they grow up I will become a grandmother
When the time comes I will die peacefully in my sleep with my loyal husband at my side
I have a perfect life.
I am a seventeen year old girl
My tears glisten in the cold moonlight
My smile, like me, is broken and fake
I am all alone
With friends that will never understand
And an ex boyfriend who is wondering what he did wrong
My big house is filled with emptiness and shattered dreams
At school my classmates happy
:iconfirelightrain:FirelightRain 1,922 1,662
This is Love by eXcer This is Love :iconexcer:eXcer 2,689 1,218 The High Summoner by namine1245 The High Summoner :iconnamine1245:namine1245 35 7 Final Fantasy-X Jecht Cosplay by WolfeXL Final Fantasy-X Jecht Cosplay :iconwolfexl:WolfeXL 3 0 Soul of the Al-Bhed by julesantonio Soul of the Al-Bhed :iconjulesantonio:julesantonio 2 1 Summoner by Holly-Batali Summoner :iconholly-batali:Holly-Batali 4 4 Final Fantasy's Rikku by Vanne Final Fantasy's Rikku :iconvanne:Vanne 55 5 Auron Pre expo by Death10014 Auron Pre expo :icondeath10014:Death10014 2 7 Selphie Tilmitt by Luuhbio Selphie Tilmitt :iconluuhbio:Luuhbio 1 0




explosivemoogle's Profile Picture
United States
Currently without a camera, (spare my webcam) so no photography for a while.
  • Reading: The Wise Mans Fear
  • Playing: World of Warcraft: MoP
  • Drinking: Green Tea
They say that time heals all wounds, that a spirit-crushing heartbreak stings a little less as the months go by, even years depending on how massive the event was. I always thought that this wasn't true, that if you loved somebody for real, they'd always mean just as much to you, that the love would be unconditional. My love for you was unconditional for years. But years have passed, and I feel no trace of it left. I'm no longer willing to overlook the things you do that make me feel terrible, and I no longer feel a pain in my chest when I think of how very far away we are from each other now, physically and emotionally. I no longer think of you first thing in the morning when I wake, or very last before I sleep. For three years my mind was a battleground to me, a constant storm, rotating and raining hail on me. I was filled with displaced anger because I wanted you to care, I wanted you to act like you cared.

It used to be that you'd cloud my mind all throughout the day, haunting me until I was curled in a ball crying, waiting for the storm to reach it's calm. I was at your mercy, whether you knew it or not. I was very much sick, and my illness was heartbreak.

But you are not the same person you once were, nor am I. We lead very much different lives. You take no time for me, and I suppose I don't for you either. All thoughts of what we could have been mean nothing to me anymore, and that's okay.

More than loss of love, I believe I was mourning our connection. But that connection is long gone and buried so far under the ground that I can't even feel it. And that is also okay.

The world will continue to spin, life will go on. You are not this incredibly important person I can't live without that I've thought of you as for so long. And that's okay.

It's okay.

But someday, I hope that when you look for me and cannot find me, you think for a moment on how in love with you I was, how dedicated I was to you emotionally. I hope that you mourn it, even for a moment, so that you can feel how I felt all that time.

I will never speak with you again, and I mean that from the very bottom of my heart.


Add a Comment:
insainewho Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
hey, just wanted to encourage you in getting ur life together, pursuing a nursing career! ur young and can do what u want in life, just gotta put ur balls in it! haha. triumph. starts with a try ends with an umph! lol
hang on to ur husband! always love each other.
explosivemoogle Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012
Awww, thank you so much for the encouragement! I never check my notifications, so I didn't even see that you'd left this! <3
insainewho Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
of's life changed in the last few months btw??
u doing okay?
Blinding-Sun Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
you have the coolest tattoo ever :D
explosivemoogle Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
Why thank you! :)
Blinding-Sun Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
yeh i swear i was gonna get it one day, can u give me the proper link to your tumblr?
explosivemoogle Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012

Sorry! Haven't been on dA for the longest time!
knyzombies Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012
Yay! I found you! I was so sad when you deleted your tumblr.... you probably don't remember me... I look forward to your work!
explosivemoogle Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012
I pretty much just saw this! I've actually got a new one, if you'd like to follow!
sysdrum Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2012
Your words inspire,you have a gift. Continue to use it you have the power to someday show people how to move mountains with the words you write.
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